What's Mummy Doing in the Kitchen?
by zhuang
Summary: Kenji thought his mother had cut her finger. Is there more that meets the eye? Of course. KenshinxKaoru, One-shot.


A lighthearted and short comedy with a little bit of fluff. Enjoy!

Note: I might have uploaded this before in my old account _rurouni-inu_. I can't recall. So if you read this before, I apologize for the re-publishment!

Also, I had a hard time deciding if I should have put a T or M rating. But I chose T, because only those who know, will know. Heh.

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><p><strong>What is Mummy Doing in the Kitchen?<strong>

'Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen…' Kenshin mentally counted the lift buttons as they faintly lighted up with each increasing number. The feeling of dread slowly crept into him as the number kept increasing. 'Twenty, twenty-one… oh no…' He cringed and shut his eyes as the distinct 'ping' rang in his ears. The creaking of the door lift opening has never been brought him such agony before.

"Hey, isn't this where you get off Kenshin?" A neighbour asked, pressing the 'open' button for him.

"Huh?" Kenshin snapped his eyes open. "Oh yes, uh, thank you." He bowed in thanks and stepped out. Taking a deep breath, he slowly walked towards the nearest door, his face showing all signs of fear. Who wouldn't when he had received a nasty phone call that afternoon and knew what was going to happen if he opened that door?

Just as he reached the doorstep, the door swung open, revealing a pretty raven haired lady with azure eyes that blew cold icy fire. Anyone could tell that she was not in the best of moods, her hands on her hips emphasizing her silent anger.

"Ta-tadaima, Ka-kaoru-dono." Kenshin managed to squeak, trying not to fall on his knees and apologize under the death glare of his wife. Without a word, she grabbed him by his tie, pulled him into the house, shut the door and dragged her freaked out husband into the living room, earning her a small "Oro."

"This," Kaoru growled, pointing at the broken, disfigured piece of junk with a sword handle sticking out. "Is your entire fault." Kenshin stared at the black junk, still not able to figure out what it really was. "This…?"

"This broken, shattered, unrecognizable junk is the plasma television which I remembered was bought less than a month ago, Kenshin." Kaoru told him in a soft, deathly whisper. "And guess who the culprit is?"

"Not me!" Kenshin immediately squawked, throwing his arms in the air as a sign of innocence, shaking his head as if there was no tomorrow.

"Of course it isn't you!" Kaoru cried in exasperation, letting go of his tie. "It's you son Kenji, buster," poking a finger in his chest, "and all because you freaking insisted to teach him how to hold a sword when I already told you he was too young!"

"Not a bad aim…"

"Kenshin!"

"Yes!"

Kaoru's hard stare made him wither, but he grew concerned when her eyes suddenly softened and she let out a big sigh. Kaoru wasn't one to give up a fight so easily… in battle or in bed.

"Kaoru, what's wrong?" He asked worriedly, holding her by her arms. Kaoru sighed again, small tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm sorry Kenshin, I knew the television was expensive… so I blew my top at Kenji!" She buried her face in his chest. "I gave him a loud scolding and sent him to his room… he probably hates me now!" A choked sob escaped muffled as he pressed her face deeper into his chest. Kenshin hugged her, stroking her hair, trying to comfort his depressed wife.

"Kaoru, don't be silly, how could Kenji hate you?" Kenshin gently pried her face away from his chest and looked into her eyes smiling comfortingly. "Come, you'd better go take a rest first." With a swift move she was in his arms, and despite Kaoru's squeaking protests, he carried her to their bedroom. He smoothly laid her on their queen-sized bed. "Stay here and try to sleep, alright? It's late and I'll take care of Kenji." Before Kaoru could protest any further, he had shut the door behind him.

As Kenshin placed his hand on the door knob to Kenji's room, he paused to think on how he should comfort his son. 'Heck.' He finally said to himself, opening the door. 'I'll just go with the flow.'

"Kenji?" Kenshin softly spoke, poking his head into his son's room. He then caught sight of Kenji in his bed, muffled sobs echoing around the room. Kenji seemed unaware of his father's presence. Kenshin walked over to the foot of his bed and squatted down so he was eye level with Kenji. He slowly patted his son's head; slow, soothing strokes that he hoped would comfort his son.

"Daddy!" Kenji wailed, wringing his small arms around Kenshin's neck. "Mummy's angry at me, Daddy, and I'm scared!" Kenshin continued to stroke his five year old son until Kenji managed to calm down. "It was an accident! I promise!" Kenji spluttered.

"Kenji, Mummy isn't angry at you anymore. She still loves you." He gently pried Kenji's persistent fingers off his neck and let his head rest on the pillow while he sat at the side of the bed. He smiled at Kenji's still trembling form. Times like these were rare among them. After all, it was usually Kaoru who did the comforting.

"Really?" Kenji softly asked, sniffling. There were two dark eye bags under his eyes, obviously due to all the crying. Kenshin nodded at Kenji, musing on the fact that no matter how Kenji looked so much like him, his son's character was just a doppelganger of his wife. Bending down, he kissed Kenji on the forehead and wished him goodnight, tucking him under the blanket. "It's past your bedtime so you'd better sleep, alright?" Kenshin told his son in a gentle but firm voice. "Goodnig-"

"Wait, daddy!" Kenji interrupted his father. Kenshin smiled and teased, "Yes? What do you want from your old father?" Rubbing Kenji on the nose playfully, his son squealed at his father's actions before saying, "Well, before I threw the sword into the telly, mummy was in the kitchen sucking her fingers. I thought she might have cut herself deep because she was making small noises while licking it."

"Oh, is that so…" Kenshin grinned.

"Yes, and when I asked Mummy if she was okay…" Kenji frowned, trying to think of words to explain. "Mummy's face became pink! She said she was alright and not to tell Daddy… but I wanted daddy to see if Mummy is really okay!" Kenji blurted out.

Kenshin tried his best not to snigger and put on a solemn face. "Of course, Daddy will go check alright? Now sleep." He patted Kenji on the head. "Goodnight Kenji. Daddy loves you." Kenshin kissed him on the forehead again. "Love you too, Daddy." Kenji mumbled, yawning, sleep slowly overtaking him.

Kenshin sat by Kenji's side, silently admiring his son's peaceful slumbering form before standing up and leaving the room, clicking off the lights. Grinning wider than ever, he walked back to his own bedroom.

"How is he? Is he asleep? Does he still-" Kenshin put a finger on his wife's lips, shushing her. "Kenji will always love you." Smiling, he hugged Kaoru tightly in his arms as she heaved a sigh of relief. Slowly, he grasped her hands and brought it near his face, pretending to scrutinize her fingers. Kaoru blushed. "What… what are you doing?"

"Hmm… there isn't any cut." Looking back into her eyes, he smiled mischievously. "My, my, Kaoru, what were you doing in the kitchen this afternoon?" Kaoru blushed a deeper red. "Ke-kenji told you? Why that-!" Kaoru started to move towards the door, but Kenshin held her back. "Uh-uh-uh." He shook his head mockingly, pushing her against the wall. "You aren't going anywhere until I hear what my wife was thinking about in the kitchen this afternoon."

"I-!" Kaoru squeaked, her face red under the intensity of her husband's lustful stare. Kenshin moved closer to her face, dropping his voice a baritone lower. "Why, you naughty little girl," he said huskily, "But why bother to only imagine? Let's feel the real thing now. With added flavour."

With that he dived for her lips.

_~Fin~_

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><p>I was rummaging through my old external hard disk, and look what I found! This is a really, really old piece. I can still vividly remember myself penning this in middle school in 2005, on <em>paper<em>. There are terms and styles which I tend not to use anymore, but I did not have the heart to change anything and left it the way I wrote it back then. It is after all, a piece of my youth, something that I was proud of accomplishing, and it brought a smile to my face.

I hope that it made you smile too! (Hopefully my writing skills isn't too tasteless)


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